250217 Hardest Forgiveness

 Hardest Forgiveness 

Why is this easier to do
Extending forgiveness to you
More willing to let you save face
By providing mercy and grace

Somehow, it is a heavier lift
Extending myself the same gift
My own transgressions, can't forgive
And so with shamefulness, I live

I know that God's forgiven me
For I've repented honestly
To have forgiveness - greatest wealth
Yet, why can't I forgive myself

Though, in my head I know I should
And true forgiveness feels so good 
Mistakes, I'm sure, are how to learn
Yet, why do mine forever burn

The need for penance is so strong
That I can't let go when I'm wrong
The driving need to make amends 
Not once, but over and again

Yet, I forgive others their vice
With hardly even thinking twice
In fact, I'm the forgiving kind
But, find it hard to forgive mine

If unforgiveness' where I stand
I'm sure it's at the devil's hand
He comes to lie, destroy, and kill
All unforgiveness fits the bill

My confidence and peace will wilt
If he can keep me wrapped in guilt
For, when I dwell on how I'm wrong
My shamefulness, he can prolong 

So, Lucifer, the jig is up
Refuse to drink your bitter cup
Won't listen to your lies I've heard
Instead, I'll stand upon God's word

Dear Lord, as I kneel down to pray
Let your forgiveness wash away
The stain of all ways I have sinned
To stand in righteousness again

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